living, all too living

When a writer reads his own previous work,
Sometimes he doesn’t always completely grasps the meaning he himself attached to it,
Sometimes he does, sometimes he do not.
What he really sees is the difference between the person he was and the person he has become,
And on the metrics of the world, has he improvised, or has he degraded.
No matter the change, to him, he is just more enlightened than he was before,
For better or for worse, he knows more than he did,Not to mention had also forgotten things, unintentionally,Devoid of the consideration of their future use.

And thinking of that,
It struck to me that same do happen with everybody,
In our everyday life, when we are exposed to the stuff we made before, and the stark realization of the difference of the person who made it from the person we are now.
There comes a time in every one’s life,
In the ones who read and in the ones who write,
Or in the ones who consume it, alright.
When once in a while they revisit the things they consumed before,
By consume, I mean read, see, hear or understood before.
That piece of text, image, sound or theory stays exactly as it was before, when they first met,
But for some reason it doesn’t feel the same, like the way it did before.

For times have changed and so have they,

And the way they interpret it has changed a lot too.
But they may nag and they may disagree,
That Is right to some extent and wrong to some degree,
Because he may have learned a thing or two, but also forgotten some of them.
And this simple fact is received by every being differently,Be it the maker or the user it maybe,
Maybe one day, I will read this text and see the difference,
And feel it open to interpretation, and maybe I will become wiser than I am now,
But still agree,F
or the habit that I learned to never wanting to be wrong,
Because wrong is wrong and right is right.
Or maybe I will take with a grain of salt, to what I now disagree,
That I might have been wrong a while ago,
And what was right and what was wrong,  I didn’t know,
And I may doubt and I may cringe,
For what is wrong and what is right.
For I have been taught to be right all the time,
And If I did any wrong, forgive me my friend,
For I meant no harm,
Just a beautiful time, for you and me, all along,
For I believed in it a while ago,
And life is too short to be sure about everything.
And I took a leap of faith and so should you,
Before you run out of the fuel to do so,
And maybe I will be dead till then,
And maybe I will never disagree,
But then again a part of me will breathe again, through someone’s else body,
And will read it to know, what the men before thought,
And maybe something will resonate with you,
And maybe something might not,
But that’s not for me to wonder,
for everything’s not for everyone,
Like the seas are for sailors and countryside for countrymen,
And magic is for the magicians, and music for musicians,
And you may not be something completely, or absolutely,
But a part of you can still feel the music,
And part of you love the seas, and part of you love the skies,
You may not be a sailor, but you are still an adventurer of the life,
You may feel the emotions of long before, again,
When this was being written,
And when I wrote it alone.
After we are gone, these thoughts may born again in someone’s mind,
to just smile and disagree with themselves, or to agree to disagree.
Or they may just feel all the same, for thoughts can travel through time,
And if you believe in magic, if you really do,
You are more than mere flesh,
you are memories, thoughts and actions that you do,
Those can be immortal, if you want them too.

But you should always remember no one’s born again in the same flesh and bone,
And we should be open for people to guess us, and judge if they like,
And they mean no harm, and neither do we,
Because sometimes you are wrong and sometimes you are right,
For someone you are wrong, and for someone alright,
because we will someday, be long gone,
In the same way will all those arrive will be,
No matter what they do, people will come and people will go,
All that will remain will be the stories that are told,
which hit the hearts of someone, if somehow, yeah, they do.

This is your life

i thought a thought,
that i wanted to forgot,
it was a thought,
i didn’t bought,

so i fought,
while i was caught,

but still i do remember,
i haven’t forgot,



and to avoid trying to articulate it again, here’s someone else who said it the best,

“There will come a time when all of us are dead. All of us. There will come a time when there are no human beings remaining to remember that anyone ever existed or that our species ever did anything.

There will be no one left to remember Aristotle or Cleopatra, let alone you.

Everything that we did and built and wrote and thought and discovered will be forgotten and all of this will have been for naught.

Maybe that time is coming soon and maybe it is millions of years away, but even if we survive the collapse of our sun, we will not survive forever. There was time before organisms experienced consciousness, and there will be time after.

And if the inevitability of human oblivion worries you, I encourage you to ignore it. God knows that’s what everyone else does.”

-John Green, “The Fault in Our Stars”

and i smile and smile and smile,
and then i cry.

Because i see my mind shout out wild,
and i have all the thoughts i am not allowed.



She fought a battle with her demons, they won.

“In reality, hope is the worst of all evils, because it prolongs man’s torments.”
~Friedrich Nietzsche,
Human, All Too Human, 1878

I don’t know why i am writing this post, it’s all depressing and it’s all real,

“Silence is worse; all truths that are kept silent become poisonous.”
Friedrich Nietzsche

So, i write,
yeah, it’s about Anastacia (Stacy) Campbell,
her works can be sought at her site, and her instagram page.

Stacy Campbell

well, she was what she was,
but now she is not among us anymore.

Anastacia Campbell at Six Flags New Orleans

she helped a lot of people,
and a lot of people were ready to help her,

but i guess,

How can you help someone,
who doesn’t want to be helped ?

How can you save someone,
who doesn’t want to be saved ?

So, the events turned out, it relieved someone’s burdens,
and gave someone new burdens to relieve themselves from.

Well, i don’t know what else to say.

We may have deployed Suicide Prevention Week,

but did we prevented it ? Or, do we need to ?

Well, In this case, I only know of the right questions, no right answers,
only some hints,

“You have your way. I have my way.
As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche

and then there is all that which remains.

When you Love Someone


If you love someone,


Should you restrict their life,

To keep them alive,


Or should you let them live their life,

Full of joy and full of fight,


And embrace all the risk and suffering that arrives,

And help them in the quest that arise,


And see them suffer and see them cry,

But always be there, always by their side,


To help their wounds heal,

and help them learn from surprise,


which entails this beautiful journey,

And occurs just once in a while,


And you know for sure,

you will never get out alive.


The cost of which, this is a valid price,

Because it’s all just a ride,

it’s all just a ride,


And it’s too short to restrict someone,

Of the places they can arrive,

The places they can arrive.


Indoctrination of Education by Social Conditioning

There was a time, when teaching was not a profession and neither was studying.

The one who wanted to learn, sought opportunities to learn and practice,

And approached the ones who were competent enough to teach them,

Then they tried to convince those so called “experts” to take out some time to teach them how they do what they do, and how can they learn to do so.

If they were convinced or needed an apprentice or would love to help someone learn as they did their own work,

They accepted and said “hop on”, if not, well, maybe someone else, then.

Almost nobody studied or taught subjects that didn’t interested them for money.



For the same reason, in today’s time, it’s not surprising that only a few of all the students and teachers are doing what they are supposed to do, right.

The reason schools and colleges are not a good framework is that more and more people enter them forced by social conditions and extrinsic motivation.

More teachers are now ‘compelled to’ teach the subjects they might be competent at but do not care about,


With negligible passion for the subject and no drive for the act of preaching it,

The daily motions of their job become drudgery and well it drains will power sooner than expected,
Ego depletion occurs, and by the afternoon, teachers are pissed about with every student who makes some fault,

Well that behavior is contagious and sooner or later students too start to lose interest in the studies,


Except for those ones who are highly self motivated, based solely on intrinsic factors,

Others either get derailed or struggle to keep up with the coursework,

It soon turns out that more and more students tend to treat studying as drudgery,

Just because of the inflexible structure of our education system and all the teachers who don’t want to teach.


Students who struggle studying are mostly the ones who are pushed into studying by social pressures,

Be it family, peers or society, and the extrinsic motivators proposed by them to make you move forward,

Soon the student sees the whole process of learning as a errand and try to avoid it, or do it as naively as possible.

Just because either he is taught the things which do not interests him or because he is thought in a inappropriate manner.



So, what today’s educational system has to realize is that learners need not to be students and educators need not be teachers,

The authorities should therefore break the structure of the current educational frame-work and develop it again from scrap,

With individual interests in mind, (to be noticed of by surveys or polls), they should not impose syllabuses or some package of must read and must do errands,

What they must offer is flexible learning experience in which the student himself strives to hone his knowledge and skills, and moreover develop his experience without restrain orders.


A flexible experience (not system) which makes each student a unique one,

Displaying his or her competence not by scoring high on tests but by the work their furnish in their chosen endeavor,

And the authorities should help the students bloom, rather than force each bud to go through a cage to grow out as of same size, or smaller, never larger than life,

When they were made to be different, to live and experience the life, in their own way,

As for the educators thing,

We will have none, so then who will teach them, well no one would and no one can.

What we need is people willing to learn and work and other people willing to help them learn and work.

But they do not need to be specialized as teachers.


This world needs to abolish this (Absolute) teacher-student framework,

In which a teacher is nothing more than a teacher, and a student nothing more than a student.

But what this evolving human race need is,

People who learn the things they love to learn and do the things they want to do,

And the people who are good at it beforehand, and the ones who are struggling to be good at it.

And the former helping the later and so on for the next generation,

And the latter may help the former with his/her work.

See, no teaching, just helping out, each other for reaching their own excellence.

And if this goes right soon we will have people, who will be encouraged to be who they want to become,

Rather than sit in room and listen for 12-15 years of their life, when they don’t really want to or really don’t even need,

All they need is guidance and help in learning and work.


Wonder how much better this world would be, if most of the people are doing what they love to do,

And are helping the coming generation in learning to do what they would love to do.

It would be a dream come true, and with people doing things they love to do,

And living their live the way they want to,

Most of others problems, like depression, conflicts and others would just slip away.


This single adaptation would make this would a better place to live in,

A place we always craved for,

And I am not saying we won’t any more problems,

But whatever comes on our way,

We will all come together to face them,

And instead of being selfish and mean, we will face and suffer together, holding hands with a smile on our face,

Because our rest of life, at least our working life (1/3 of life) will be so much better and better.

So, I would now leave you to think upon and introspect upon this matter with this great thought,

“Our greatest fear should not be of failure, but of succeeding at things in life that don’t really matter.”



Core ideas:


Educational Propaganda

Indoctrination of Education

Social Conditioning

institutional delusion

*the end*



Humans made the concept of purpose,

Nature didn’t,

Then why do you seek the purpose of life,

And insist on life to have one, that you shall find,

When it even doesn’t know,

What the hell it* is,

It doesn’t have the privilege to think in the first place.

But all you do is ponder upon, on and on,

and other people may propose to you, answers unknown,

and no answer will resonates with you,

until you yourself allow it to.

But do remember always,

that humans invented the concept of purpose and that of meaning too,

of which they had the privilege to and therefore they do,

which life never had, and it won’t henceforth.



A poem by,

Roger Clan

Does it matter how you live your life ?

Does it matter how you live your life,


Whether you make it large or whether you make it small,

Or if you make out of it anything at all,

You can just leave it as it is if you wish so after all.

And If something goes wrong,

Death got your back and death got your bone,

And you will leave without a trace,

And you will leave without disgrace,

And will you be alert or will you be sane,

You will be like you arrived dazzled and in pain.

The evidence which remains doesn’t do any scathe,

Only very few of that gets to troll,

And rest of it rests with dust by its side,

Well if anyone survive to hear it out,

And to listen to its music and listen to its cry..

Well do not fear and do not care,

Be assured that all of them shall die,

So just smile and smile and smile,

So that you are ready to beg and you are ready to cry.


then you know the answer to the question,

Does it matter how you live your life.

To all THOSE things

To all those people who felt like family,

And all those places which felt like home.


To all those dreams that always inspire me,

And all those ambitions that I own.

To all the fires that burn inside me,

And amongst them the passion that gets born.

To all the things that I desire,

And all the ones that I have lost.

To all the moments that we have experienced,

And the time since we were born.


To all those feelings we have felt,

And all those memories, that we own.


To all those people who felt like family,

And all those places which felt like home.


An Incomplete Dedication (Poem)

To all THOSE things

by Roger Clan

simplicity of brain

recite-1vac2jj-David Eagleman

Do Anything, Yeah Anything.


If you want to do something,

lose your sense of identity, yeah, kill it if you need to,

you can’t kill your whole identity, as it makes you who you are.


But just think for a moment and think of that part or belief system that you think is an innate part of your identity,

which holds you from doing what your heart desires to.


And then when you have lost that sense of identity of yours’, that is,

that the person telling you, you can’t or won’t be able to do the things you want to do,

it’s not you, it’s your beliefs.

Drop them.


And think why can’t you do it, got the answers, they are excuses, drop the excuses,

and go do it.

and once and for all believe that you can do it, yeah literally believe it, [try positive psychology texts]

whatever the obstacle is.



And remember that,

if you don’t know, Learn,

if you don’t own, Earn,

if you don’t have, Build,


if you are not, Become.



Make the move. Go the distance.

Because when you stop, your progress does the same.

Don’t let yourself become your own greatest obstacle.



image source